Directness

Yesterday we discussed the benefits of initiating push pull conversations. Let me clarify that this does not mean you have to take indirect approach or arrange for a meeting. Being direct has its benefits and allows you to be get to the person’s reality quickly.  It also allows you to assert your reality face-to-face and in a timely manner.  

A direct approach should not be done if you cannot manage your emotions – with pull conversations the desire is to set aside judgement and seek to understand. That doesn’t mean you withhold what’s going on inside of you. Directness is being open to telling your truth with discernment strongly enforced on your part.  

Here are some examples directly from the book, Juice: the power of conversation by Brady G. Wilson: 

Situation: A colleague says something offensive in a meeting. You approach him afterwards and say, “I have concerns about your comment in the meeting, but first I’d like to understand your rationale. Then I’ll share my concerns.”

In this approach, you are 

• framing the conversation directly: “I have concerns”  
• reaching out in a desire to inquire into your colleague’s reality: “but first I’d like to understand your rationale
• letting him know that you’re going to be direct about your concerns after you understand his reality: “then I’ll share my concerns”

Being direct may not be your preferred style -- it doesn’t necessarily emote warmth.  It does create respect, clarity and long-term results and trust.  You need to approach these conversation with discernment and a desire to understand.

So make a point of being direct when the opportunity presents itself. And good luck.  It sounds like you're making progress in your new role.